The Journey So Far...

"But you never showed any signs!" This is often the first refrain trans people hear from those nearest and dearest to us who want to invalidate our truth and prevent our transition.  This statement closely dovetails into the idea that only those who were strongly aligned to their actual gender from an early age and loudly and persistently clung to that assertion despite any influence to stay our birth assigned sex are allowed to transition.  It says, that if we never were seen making any assertions, or even acting with any gender divergent behaviors, then we really can't be transgender.   I have already spoken about how there is no one narrative, or one way to be transgender, and told much of my own story.  I am now going to delve more into the insidious problem of the the so-called-signs. The foremost problem with this idea is the fact of confirmation bias.  Most people fail to see facts that don't fit into the worldview they have built for the...

This is going to be a delicate subject.   As a result, I wish to place a disclaimer first.   These views are my own and I don’t profess to be right on any of it.   I am just speaking of opinion that I have formed from my experience.   I do not invalidate the experiences of others when I speak of mine.   That is neither my intention nor my desire.   I do wish and welcome a dialog on this topic from people with different experiences so that we all may come to some kind of truth together.   The hope is that, through this conversation, we can make a better culture for us all. Secondly, we need a working definition.   I say working definition because the dictionary definition of privilege is inadequate for this discussion, not nuanced for what we are talking about.   I checked the urban dictionary, but quite a few of those articles were written by edgelords and trolls so they wouldn’t be helpful either.   So, for the purposes of this di...

Here I am, basically a year into transition. It’s tough to pinpoint a beginning point, there are lots of firsts that have happened, but it is not a stretch to call it about a year. In this year I have been in almost constant wonder at all the things I have discovered, and uncovered, and recovered during this transition to living my true self. One of the most surreal elements to this change is trying to come to terms with my changing sexuality in many dimensions. When I was under the influence of testosterone, I had a very insistent libido. I pretty much constantly was thinking about sex. Included in that were the physiological responses to those thoughts, namely physiological arousal. This was enjoyable in many cases. But also, it was dysphoric, as spontaneous erections often struck me as annoying, improper and a much too insistent reminder of masculinity. Sex was enjoyable, very much so, up to a point. I loved foreplay. Kissing and cuddling, petting and playfulness, really anythi...

I can't really believe that in the twenty-first century this still has to be discussed, but here it is. Trans folk are not predators.  If privacy were really such a concern why are bathrooms constructed in the way they are?  And, what possible reason is there to single out a person for just trying to relieve themselves for derision, harassment and sometimes violence?  I will predominantly use the example of Trans women in this article, because I am one, but I mean no slight on any other Trans folk.  They face all the same issues and are thus included. Lets take each thing in turn.  Trans women are not going into the bathroom to attack other women or girls.  We are just trying to relieve ourselves.  Predatory men do not need to dress as a woman to be a predator, they just find women where they can and attack them.  There are no examples in law, anywhere, showing someone dressing as a woman for predatory purposes despite laws for or against allo...

This is truly a ridiculous post, but something just hit me when I saw this commercial. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y8wA5gGv-fE This commercial, if you don't choose to watch it, is an Audi car commercial.  Now most people who know me know that I hate car commercials generally, despise luxury car commercials and know that there is a particular level of hell reserved for those who write holiday-season, luxury-car commercials in particular.  I feel that that level in hell is too good a place for them to spend their eternity. All that said, however, this commercial in particular truly strikes me as awesome, and inspiring. I say this, because it really spreads a good and empowering feminist message that doesn't take away from anyone else.  The woman who is the focus of the ad is a strong, smart and capable person who decides that as good as her life is (with respect and accolades coming from her current job) she should take her chances, invest in herself with confid...

My Trans Narrative In the transgender world, there is the concept of the Trans Narrative.  Back in the time of my youth, the standards of care required people to prove their trans-ness.  You had to have 'always been' associated in your mind with your target gender, from a young age preferring the trappings of that gender and desiring to be a fully hetero- member of that gender.  If you came to your mandated therapy appointments not fully decked out in clothing strongly aligned with your desired gender expression, you weren't serious enough; and therefore not trans. Luckily, things have progressed a lot since then, and we are hearing of more and varied histories of people growing up and coming to terms with their gender.  There is no one-size-fits-all narrative that we all must be shoe-horned into.  To help foster that realization for others, and thereby maybe support fellow transgender folks, I want to tell my personal narrative and let them know their story...